Peer Review: Cell Phone Addiction

Peer Review Worksheet – Inquiry Essay

Introduction:

What is the initial inquiry question?  Is it expressed clearly?  Why/why not?

Are cell phone addictions comparable to drug and alcohol addictions?

How does the author draw in the reader’s interest?  Can it more effectively?  Is this an inquiry with greater import?  Is it expressed? (note: it might be more effective expressed later in the inquiry.)

The author draws in the readers interest through the relatable question of whether people have been impolite at a table by texting or checking their phone in front of you. It was an effective interest catcher. I’m not sure what import is, but if it is sources that guide the writing, then you did a good job picking sources.

Do we know where the author prior knowledge?  Does s/he have a stake in the inquiry?

The author does not have specialized prior knowledge of the subject, but has experienced the subject matter a sizable amount. She holds a stake in the inquiry through her experiment and her overlook of people on their cell phones that sparked her question.

Voice:

How would you characterize the voice?  Is it effective for the subject material?  Do we believe in the inquisitiveness of the author (does this matter to him/her)?

The voice is very even toned and unbiased. It is effective to the subject material because too much bias could ruin the argument and make it seem like an argument. The author makes it sound like an inquiry.

If the voice/tone breaks from type, point it out to the author.  Should it not?

Generally, the voice is appropriate to the writing, but at a few points it seems to stray like when you talk about how your mom would react while you were out to dinner and did not have your phone.

Abstactions/Generalities: are there any instances where abstract ideas need specific details and concrete support for greater understanding?  Point these out.

I didn’t notice anything too big.

Body:

Is the author’s thought process evident?  Are we led smoothly from one section of the inquiry to the next?  Are there any questions/answers the author missed?  What are they?

The author makes the paper flow smoothly from the general notice of cell phones being an addiction to experimenting why they are addicting to asking the followup question: what makes it addictive?

Does the author question his/her own assumptions, findings, logic? 

The author doesn’t question her own assumptions too much, but explores her reasons for making those assumptions in the first place.

How is research effectively used?  Incorporation of quotes?  Does the research lead to other branchs of inquiry?  Intellectual disciplines?  Are there missed opportunities for expansion?

The author uses a good variety of sources that all provide different relevant information. She effectively uses quotes from each of these sources. She explores other branches of inquiry, but not necessarily from research. I think she expanded well.

Does the author maintain your interest?  How so?  Where does your attention lag?  Why?  How can it be fixed?

The author maintained my interest throughout, especially in the narrative style of the description of her experiment. My attention lagged a little bit in the research dense area around the general question. Perhaps spread out the research a little more throughout.

Does the reader continue to broaden the inquiry?  Should it be further broadened, complicated?

The reader broadens the inquiry.

Conclusion:

How does the conclusion operate? (Is an answer found?  Is the initial inquiry complicated, expanded?  Does it point to further inquiry?  Does it conclude with greater import/implications?)

The conclusion relates the ending branch of the inquiry back to the question. The inquiry is expanded. The next step is to investigate why social media is so addictive.

Is it effective?  Are you, the reader, satisfied with the ending?  Why, why not?  What are some suggestions for greater effectiveness?

I am satisfied with the ending because the paper was effective in asking whether cell phones are addictive and expanding it from there. If you were to take the next step and explore what about social media was addictive that would be optimal, but it could be straying too far from your original point.